Love Dare: Day 3 & 4

I couldn't write about my "day 3" because Shawn was home and there was no time to escape while I typed. If I had typed in front of him he would have been his nosy self and had his head over my shoulder!

Yesterday was easy, but today was tough! I didn't think this journey was going to be cake; I had no idea how difficult this would be. I know I am stubborn and can be ruthless, however I have never realized how hard it is for me to shut my mouth. I didn't think I was a prideful individual, not that I don't have pride, but I didn't realize how badly I needed to have the last word.

Day 3 asked me to invest in something that would 'cause HIM happiness. I called in at Cahill & Swain and special ordered a golf shirt Shawn has been wanting. I did this because he plans on playing in the Wesleyan District Golf Tournament with his Dad and thought he could wear it. I did that with a full happy heart and paid for it out of MY savings (My Gucci bag fund!). I couldn't wait for today to get here so I could go pick it up!

Today, however, was Day 4 and was another petty argument! We haven't argued this much over petty stuff in a long time. We were avidly bickering while I was on my way and I passed the exit. I think it was an accident, but I almost didn't turn around. "He doesn't deserve it!" I thought to myself. But, that's not fair. Does that mean he has the right to stop treating me nicely just because we are fighting? Does that mean he can take away the diamonds he gave me for Christmas just because I am getting on his nerves? No. I wouldn't give them back anyway, but NO!

So, I turned around half-heartedly and bought the shirt. He had gotten a call so we did not get off the phone on the best of terms. I kept thinking to myself, "I am not the one backing down! I will not apologize first!" But, I realized that was the Devil feeding my ego and I had just learned that I had to take the initiative if I ever want him to. So, this evening before I got to school we spoke and I apologized. I told him I didn't mean to come off wrong earlier and that we needed to communicate better if we were ever going to get anywhere in this marriage.

I think we expect the other to read our mind all the time, and that's just not possible. I forget to put my blue headphones on and take my pink goggles off. I'm working on it, and I know God is working on me. This is a marathon... not a sprint. I have to keep reminding myself that!