I couldn't write about my "day 3" because Shawn was home and there was no time to escape while I typed. If I had typed in front of him he would have been his nosy self and had his head over my shoulder!
Yesterday was easy, but today was tough! I didn't think this journey was going to be cake; I had no idea how difficult this would be. I know I am stubborn and can be ruthless, however I have never realized how hard it is for me to shut my mouth. I didn't think I was a prideful individual, not that I don't have pride, but I didn't realize how badly I needed to have the last word.
Day 3 asked me to invest in something that would 'cause HIM happiness. I called in at Cahill & Swain and special ordered a golf shirt Shawn has been wanting. I did this because he plans on playing in the Wesleyan District Golf Tournament with his Dad and thought he could wear it. I did that with a full happy heart and paid for it out of MY savings (My Gucci bag fund!). I couldn't wait for today to get here so I could go pick it up!
Today, however, was Day 4 and was another petty argument! We haven't argued this much over petty stuff in a long time. We were avidly bickering while I was on my way and I passed the exit. I think it was an accident, but I almost didn't turn around. "He doesn't deserve it!" I thought to myself. But, that's not fair. Does that mean he has the right to stop treating me nicely just because we are fighting? Does that mean he can take away the diamonds he gave me for Christmas just because I am getting on his nerves? No. I wouldn't give them back anyway, but NO!
So, I turned around half-heartedly and bought the shirt. He had gotten a call so we did not get off the phone on the best of terms. I kept thinking to myself, "I am not the one backing down! I will not apologize first!" But, I realized that was the Devil feeding my ego and I had just learned that I had to take the initiative if I ever want him to. So, this evening before I got to school we spoke and I apologized. I told him I didn't mean to come off wrong earlier and that we needed to communicate better if we were ever going to get anywhere in this marriage.
I think we expect the other to read our mind all the time, and that's just not possible. I forget to put my blue headphones on and take my pink goggles off. I'm working on it, and I know God is working on me. This is a marathon... not a sprint. I have to keep reminding myself that!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Love Dare: Day 2
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. -- Ephesians 4:32
Do not let kindness and truth leave you,; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. -- Proverbs 3:3
Today I learned a lot. I had to work on my patience late last night in, what became, a heated argument over something petty. Needless to say I failed day one. I was so ashamed and disappointed, but I realized we all make mistakes and decided to continue this journey.
My task was to continue to practice patience and also preform at least one unexpected act of kindness. Shawn and I put aside our differences this morning because I took the initiative in asking for forgiveness for my actions. I say this because that was part of today's task, and as I stated in my previous blog I am a skunk. I am not usually the one to back down first.
My act of kindness was simple and not unusual, but I am sure it was unexpected. I usually cook dinner and Shawn will clean the kitchen. I did both of these and then followed it with sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, and doing the laundry. I have to admit, I love a clean house, but it is so much more enjoyable when I did it for someone else and not just to do it. I clean the house because I have to, normally, but Shawn's primary love language is "acts of kindness" and I should practice doing things like that for him more often!
Do not let kindness and truth leave you,; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. -- Proverbs 3:3
Today I learned a lot. I had to work on my patience late last night in, what became, a heated argument over something petty. Needless to say I failed day one. I was so ashamed and disappointed, but I realized we all make mistakes and decided to continue this journey.
My task was to continue to practice patience and also preform at least one unexpected act of kindness. Shawn and I put aside our differences this morning because I took the initiative in asking for forgiveness for my actions. I say this because that was part of today's task, and as I stated in my previous blog I am a skunk. I am not usually the one to back down first.
My act of kindness was simple and not unusual, but I am sure it was unexpected. I usually cook dinner and Shawn will clean the kitchen. I did both of these and then followed it with sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, and doing the laundry. I have to admit, I love a clean house, but it is so much more enjoyable when I did it for someone else and not just to do it. I clean the house because I have to, normally, but Shawn's primary love language is "acts of kindness" and I should practice doing things like that for him more often!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Love Dare: Day 1
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. -- Ephesians 4:2
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. -- Proverbs 14:29
See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another. -- 1 Thessalonians 5:15
Today's dare was to resolve to stay calm and patient if you feel the need to say something out of anger toward your spouse. I can honestly say that harsh words are rare between Shawn and I, but we do have our moments. Today I did not have to try to be patient because there were no issues! I do, however, resolve to practice patience in the future when problems may arise!
Pastor Phil was preaching on marriage yesterday morning and he mentioned something that hit home. He said there is a skunk and a turtle in every relationship. One Person who gets upset and everybody knows it and one person who gets upset and retreats into their shell. I hate to admit that I am the skunk! I do not mean to and I do not want to be, but I am a very vocal and emotional person! I want to resolve to not be either, and I hope that I can help Shawn to no longer feel like the turtle. Communication is key and, although I feel like we have it down pretty well, it is something we both could work on!
I realize I cannot complete this forty day journey without patience or without having my heart one hundred percent into it. I am keeping a journal of it so I can write my thoughts and track my process; but also to use as a buddy system. When you decide to work out you normally tag up with someone so that, even when you don't want to, you always go in order not to let the other person down. If I say I am going to write it down everyday, then I have to complete the assignment.
So far our marriage has been wonderful and I wouldn't trade my husband in for anything in the world!
I know everyone says it is hard work and the bad times will come... I just try to remember that you're supposed to have FUN together. Shawn and I are best friends because we enjoy and admire each other, but also because we always have fun together. I just cannot see things getting terrible if we remember to have fun. :)
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. -- Proverbs 14:29
See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another. -- 1 Thessalonians 5:15
Today's dare was to resolve to stay calm and patient if you feel the need to say something out of anger toward your spouse. I can honestly say that harsh words are rare between Shawn and I, but we do have our moments. Today I did not have to try to be patient because there were no issues! I do, however, resolve to practice patience in the future when problems may arise!
Pastor Phil was preaching on marriage yesterday morning and he mentioned something that hit home. He said there is a skunk and a turtle in every relationship. One Person who gets upset and everybody knows it and one person who gets upset and retreats into their shell. I hate to admit that I am the skunk! I do not mean to and I do not want to be, but I am a very vocal and emotional person! I want to resolve to not be either, and I hope that I can help Shawn to no longer feel like the turtle. Communication is key and, although I feel like we have it down pretty well, it is something we both could work on!
I realize I cannot complete this forty day journey without patience or without having my heart one hundred percent into it. I am keeping a journal of it so I can write my thoughts and track my process; but also to use as a buddy system. When you decide to work out you normally tag up with someone so that, even when you don't want to, you always go in order not to let the other person down. If I say I am going to write it down everyday, then I have to complete the assignment.
So far our marriage has been wonderful and I wouldn't trade my husband in for anything in the world!
I know everyone says it is hard work and the bad times will come... I just try to remember that you're supposed to have FUN together. Shawn and I are best friends because we enjoy and admire each other, but also because we always have fun together. I just cannot see things getting terrible if we remember to have fun. :)
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